Good Grief.......
Why would anybody even use these two words together? Even in a comic strip...
For the last three years, close to Christmas time, three different women in my life became widows.
First my mom, then 2 long time friends the following two years. Suddenly widows.
Grief.......
We have all encountered it to some degree or other; seen it, dealt with it, walked in/through it, been overwhelmed/knocked down by it ...
Is any of it good?
I never thought so!
- Until recently
As I walked into the homes of these women, grief was there.
As evident and thick as fog - making them as fragile as thin ice.
- silence fills the space between sentences, often fragmented, unfinished...
- their eyes, usually filled with life and laughter - now filled with sorrow and tears...
- eyes roam over familiar things -unseeing- looking for a place to rest, then 'disappear' into the past...
- the 'lost' look that often appears on their faces, tells me of their state...
- imagine the brutality in the seconds when waking from sleep...
- when I came through the door - they hoped for someone else....
- in moments throughout the day find themselves listening for familiar sounds...
How can this be good?
Grief is natural. It is a human reaction to tragedy. We were created to grieve. When we grieve, we process, and allow the door in our hearts to remain open to healing and life.
That is good!
I've seen people who don't grieve - they suppress - their hearts become numb, and there is no healing.
I've seen people getting stuck in grief - neither allowing themselves to process nor healing to take place.
You can allow grief to take you to the grave - while you are still alive!
Grief - as old as the world......
From the beginning of time - after the Fall - grief has been part of creation, part of life on this earth.
In the Old Testament ashes were used as a outward sign for either repentance or mourning/grief.
.When tragedy hit or imminent threat of elimination was at their doorstep - the Jews put on sackcloth and ashes as a sign of great grief/mourning.
But they never remained like this. A time would come and they would wash their heads and dress in their normal clothes again. Changed yes - but alive and choosing to live.
These three women have, each in their own way, shown me that for grief to be good, I must allow it in, stay it's course, choose to process and then slowly let go of grief and let healing and life in.
-b
