Thursday, October 23, 2014

In the shoes of the Caterpillar

It happens every summer - the fact that caterpillars are still on this earth, is supported heavily in evidence by the shredded and tattered  look on my Petunia petals!
I got the idea of keeping the culprit, after finding him, and put him in a glass cupcake holder.

A caterpillar in a glasshouse.


Then proceeded to feed him fresh
petals of his favorite color several times a day with the mindset that:
a missing petal is not as obvious
as a 'Swiss cheese' looking one!









All was going well for our new family pet, until one day he started getting sluggish. Not being an expert on caterpillars I was concerned about him. After a couple of days I was certain he was at the end, when low and behold the next morning a little brown cocoon is laying right next to his dry, shriveled up, shed skin.
What a transformation - what a change from one stage to another.

Does the caterpillar know it will be forced into a cocoon?
I mean, just because it's 'natures' way, doesn't mean the caterpillar knows about it....
Did it fight against this change that seemed to strip it of its identity to the point of the outer skin being peeled off,
Was that painful?
Being wrapped tightly into a tiny hard shell.
Engulfed in darkness.
Did it feel safe or rather like it was going to suffocate - die?
Was it born with the knowledge that each stage is only for a time, that it would change - twice?
Did it know that at the end, there would be wings?

The human caterpillar

So many stages  - infant, toddler, child, teenager, young adult, dependent, independent, living at home, moving out, etc.
          Throughout our whole life, different stages, different lengths of time - changes.

Then there are the stages within the stages...
With each change from one stage to the next we have the opportunity to grow/mature in our character, and in Christ.

How do you feel about change?
Change is challenging. If you are like most, instant resistance will arise against any kind of change.

Why?

Change takes us away from the familiar, from what we have 'conquered', where we feel safe/ at home/in control.
                          It moves us out into the unknown - outside of our comfort zone.

Change often brings hardship, pain, loneliness, the pressure to let go of something we feel is part of us.......
- like the caterpillar shedding his skin to become  soft in effort to fit into the cocoon, the next stage.

 Often we look for the quickest escape out of discomfort and pray accordingly - let it end now, heal me now, rescue me now - surely this can't be from you God, you love me, this doesn't feel like love...

The caterpillar is unable to resist the change - we, on the other hand, were given this powerful and amazing gift called; free will - and by using that we can, and often do, avoid anything unpleasant on our path.

We can choose to not be squeezed into a tight little space,
choose to stay on our belly,
choose to live on flower petals for the rest of our lives!

Maybe we made it into the cocoon. It was tight and uncomfortable at first, but then after a while it felt so snug, safe, just room for us.......... we can choose to never leave it - it's true, we can.
                                                   
                                                           Sad, but true!

Pain, sadness, darkness, loneliness, desert, emptiness, loss, frustration .........
We can, at any point during the change process, choose to give in, give up, sit down and fold together our arms saying; it's too much, it's no fun, too hard, too painful.

I think during times like that, we forget who we belong to and who is at work within us
                                       - we become overwhelmed and shortsighted.

James 1:2-4 " Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

                                  "Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature...."

Maturity doesn't happen through knowing what is right/what you should do, or saying the right things....... that's the easy part. Most of us know and can say the right things

                                                     - but God isn't in to lip service.
( lip service; verbal expression of agreement or allegiance, unsupported by real conviction or action.)

 Maturity happens at the point, where it would be easier to bail ship, give up, give in, sit down and curl up in resignation, convincing myself it is just too hard to press on, safer to stay in the cocoon -
                                               but instead I choose to persevere.

Maturity follows when we choose to do and act accordingly to what we know/say is right, even when it doesn't 'feel' good. It comes with the change we choose to go through.

                       Maturity is not free!                              It comes with a price.

The price changes, not due to inflation, but by what the result could be - what precious stone is in the making.

Maturity happens behind closed doors - out of sight. Not on the platform under the spotlight with applause cheering you on. It happens in the private of your heart, when no one is watching and you choose to use your will to pursue what you know is true, instead of what you feel.


There are many  thoughts as to why we were created - and many different answers I have no argument with. But one I will argue against is the thought that it was to live happily ever after, as smooth and nice as possible. What nonsense!
                             
                               We were not created to be living Hallmark cards.

Neither is this journey about achievements  - if that becomes our priority, we are missing out on life itself. Achievements aren't bad, but reaching them is not where life is.

Life is found in Jesus!  "I am the life..."

You can walk this journey without Jesus - or hold him at arms length - I walked that road for many years and had so much, but not life itself.

 This journey is not in what we have, job/home/family/spouse/child - these are all wonderful and should bring much joy  -  but life is found only in Jesus.

" I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly." John 10:10

In him, the journey goes from being a soundtrack to being at the concert - it becomes real, with dimensions a recording, no matter how good, could never achieve.
You aren't listening to is on the side - you step inside and become part of it.
Life happens - abundantly!

I walk this raw unedited journey of pain, joy, suffering, laughter and tears, falls and new beginnings, scrapes and bruises, of loss and gain, of reaching of amazing pinnacles as well as dark lonely valleys.
I walk it - not knowing what tomorrow brings anymore than you do - but in full assurance that Jesus is with me every step of the way, cheering me on through the shifting tides and changing seasons.



Each change matured the caterpillar, and each change brought it closer to become free to be what it was created to be; a winged being!

             The changes we persevere through bring maturity. Maturity brings us freedom.

                        Freedom to become who we were created to be in Christ.


-b

Monday, June 23, 2014

Unguarded moment

I caught a glimpse of her in an unguarded moment, sitting alone, a dark heavy cloak draped over her hunched shoulders - dressed like a winter's freeze was upon us, although summer had long since arrived. She was only present in body, her mind somewhere far away trapped in a memory, unable to let go.
Her spirit, wilted like a flower deprived of water, had lost the ability to answer the call to awaken that even draws hibernating bears out of their dead-like slumber.



 (thank you Katie Stanley for photo help) 

There used to be sparkle in her eyes, a smile on her lips, a song in her heart and she moved light and unashamed through life - her spirit like a little butterfly, fluttering from one flower to another, exploring, growing a little with each dance in the air.

...........but they started calling her names, teasing her, leaving her out - and she knew not why.
Her spirit shook its wings, but they had been smashed, compressing the freedom and leaving smudges behind. She sought encouragement, but found it mixed with criticism and mistreatment.

Her eyes now fills with questions, the smile on her lips wavers, the song in her heart becomes faint and halting, she moves with insecurity and shame wraps itself around her like a cloak, heavy on her shoulders......

She was not at fault - but her spirit broke.
It wasn't them that broke her spirit..

She was not at fault, yet she started believing the lies - that she was ugly, unworthy, unwanted, stained, not good enough, unloved.....
                                            the wings of her spirit broke
                  - unable to carry the burden of her belief in the lies - they broke.
Her spirit retreated deep within her, broken and beat, in need of love and restoration........



Will you tell her - if you see her.......
                           will you tell her the truth, that her heavenly Father and Creator says about her?

He saw her before she was yet formed, and then knit her together in her mother's womb - she is his workmanship, fearfully and wonderfully created.

His banner over her is love and she can find shelter and healing under his wings.
While she is unaware, He dances over her with joy. In him she is more than a conqueror.
Nothing can separate her from his love. He will never leave her or forsake her!


                             He has names for her.......

 beloved                                chosen                                            apple of his eye
            child,                                                    redeemed
                       daughter                   blessed                                            longed for
                                                                            friend.............

Will you tell her to lift her eyes to Jesus who speaks truth to her inmost parts who restores broken wings and renews strength.
This is truth that will set her free -  enable her to run and not grow weary - and to soar with wings like eagles.
                   
                        Will you tell her to grab hold of the truth and believe that
                                                                                                             instead of all the lies.

- will you speak truth to her next time you catch a glimpse of her

                                                                 looking back at you in the mirror.......


-b

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Misplaced Confidence.......

I had to correct myself this morning!
Reading a very well known scripture in it's context, I found that due to pulling the 'famous' verse out, something else has slipped in and skewed my thoughts when I think and quote this verse.

Heb. 4:16 "Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace in time of need."

I have heard and thought of this verse by itself so often that somehow the part of confidence has been detached from the verses above and is based on who I am in Christ and that my walk with him is strong!

WRONG!!!!                                     WRONG!!!!!!                                      WRONG!!!!

I know that - I know works don't count any more - but I was caught by the question as to why I at times feel more confident than at other times, approaching the throne of grace........ why is it harder for me to stand before Him when I've just 'fallen'. It's not like he changed is it? It's me and how I see myself that either makes me approach him haltingly, or me to run freely before him.

The writer has just described how Jesus suffered as he was tempted in every way as we are and now has passed through the heavens and is our high priest who is able to sympathize with our weaknesses -
let us then....

This all about receiving grace and mercy in time of need

                                            - when is our time of need ?

Yes, when we have failed, fallen, and are hurt and disappointed in what we said/did or should/should not have  -when confidence in myself shattered.

                                              THAT is what this verse is all about!.

 Because we have a Lord who knows what that is all about he is not holding up a pointy finger or waiting to put shame/blame on us - he is there to extend grace and mercy and there we find healing and renewal.

 Draw near with confidence in Him and who he is.

-b

Friday, May 9, 2014

Some morning

You ask me;
"Don't you get bored when you run around in circles doing laps with no change in scenery?"
Below I take you with me - no morning is the same as you know, -every season has it's own amazingness attached to it. Yes, some mornings are wet and gray, but that's just some - there are many of these....




                                                           Some morning



The sky changes colors - dark hues from the night slowly overtaken by orange and rouge spread on to    cloud-cheeks as they drift across the blue canvas.

                                                       Soundless. Amazing


The moon descends, like a change of guards gliding below the horizon in graceful salute to the rising sun.

                                                     Soundless.  Peaceful


and yet....
the air is alive with music as the birds welcome a new day with all their song, a seamless blend of this winged choir,

                                                               Joyful.


Warm fingers of the sun touch the earth of an empty overgrown lot.....
steam, like threads of gold, slowly twirl in a heaven-bound dance

                                                   Soundless. Beautiful


A solo flight takes place high above, wingspan about 7 ft. a white head turning as keen eyes scan the surface below

                                                   Soundless. Majestic


Cool air makes breath visible - white puffs leave my lungs as I breathe out taking all this in
                                                 
                                               
                                                  Soundless. Awestruck.


and yet...
my spirit, wings spread, soars like the eagle,-  free, dancing, uninhibited by body and gravity -
my heart stirred up, beyond the ability to remain neutral, has joined in all the glory surrounding me
 - "then sings my soul..."!
                                                 
                                                Soundless. Unique.

but,
         my Creator hears -

-b


Saturday, April 19, 2014

A change of vision

Knitting-
you start with casting on stitches, and go from there to, row by row, build a shape.
Sentences-
you start with choosing words, one at a time, to build a sentence shaping your thought, feeling etc.



Words have texture, like fabric - they touch you -
                              leaving behind feelings, impressions, associations, pictures.


Well, you know that - but

One thing is knowing this fact, another is running headfirst into it -be changed by it.
                                                             
                                                                I did, I was!
                                                          All based on a word.



Jesus said; " Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13
and again; " I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for his sheep. John 10:11


We say Jesus gave his life for us. Which he did. He died on the cross for us - 
                                                   died an agonizing physical death.
                                                
                                                           Astounding sacrifice!


It is Easter weekend, and the celebration sentence is; Jesus died and rose again.
                                                      
                                                          Jesus died and rose again.


This sentence drew a picture in my mind - Narnia, by C.S. Lewis, often has door frames involved as entries into a different world. Or when the end has come in one place the door frame marks the crossing over to a new beginning.




Jesus died and rose again - he hung on the cross, gave over his spirit to God and died.
             
                                         Walked through the door frame - crossed the threshold......
With this picture we went from Good Friday to Easter Sunday in one step - in the blink of an eye.


                                          photo by Bente's Photography

Is that what happened?




Remember my starting point; words have texture -
                              now take the word 'soul'..........compare it with the word 'life'


Isaiah 53:10 " Yet it was the will of the Lord (God) to crush him (Jesus), he has put him to grief, when his soul makes an offering for guilt......."
and verse 11; "Out of the anguish of his soul, he shall see and be satisfied...."


These verses are not talking about his life - but his soul!
 Going back to John 15 and 10 if translated correctly should read;


   "No greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his soul for his friends." &
   "I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his soul for his sheep."


                                                      Jesus paid with his soul........

                                                       
                                               a soul in anguish versus a body in pain.


      
             I hear the words, 'taste' them, let them roll over me, touch me, sink deep
         "... make his soul an offering for sin..." - "Out of the anguish of his soul...."

Something is shifting inside me - because this goes beyond skin and bones and surface pain, however severe.
Oh, this goes deeper -
 I hear his plea to his Father in the garden again; "My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass by me....."

                                                   my inner gaze shifting....

                                       -shifting from the door frame and threshold to

something deeper,
                                stretched out,
                                                                  daunting and dark;

- this is what I see now                    photo by Bente's Photography


                                                     A tunnel long enough to last three days.



             May this heart of mine be forever filled with gratitude, love and praise for my Lord and Savior.


-b